if i'll ever leave this place...tt means, i have to start everything all over again..from the beginning..hmm..i might nt have the chance to continue all the things i am doing now..i nd to give up lots things..argh..i am in a dilemma right now..i nd to leave everthing i have here...argh..i dun bear to do tt..

i might nt lead the life that i always wanted to have, too..this result will be really different from wat i always thought when i was younger..is this really what i want?

can i juz have the ans now?? have been thinking a lot since yest..juz now told my mum abt it through msn..i asked her to discuss it wif my father first...waiting for the ans this sat..

i have to make the correct decision, cos i am nt young anymore..lol..i dun have much time to waste..i muz get it right now..

now i am waiting for 2 days to come:
1st..this sat
2nd..early may..

hopefully i will get my ans by then..hopefully these 2 days come soon..so tt i noe where i should really go..

this is a really 50/50 stake..either everything will be successful in e end of the day..or i'll lose everything 'n a failure is wat i'll get..

from now onwards, i think i'll fight this 'battlefield' alone..cos everybody has to go different path liao ever since we ended our jc life..yeah..maybe we cant be together always..but friendship is wat i'll always treasure no matter wat happen..something that i wun forget..

hmm..some things tt matter a lot to me last time..maybe doesn't really matter to me now already..

but still wat i have to say is..consideration in progress now..